Have you ever gotten ‘fed up’ with the way things are going for you to the point where you finally just said you’ve had it?
Why not take stock today of some things that need to change?
Why not decide today to intentionally work on some personal habits that are guaranteed to make you a happier person?
Are you willing to Stop the self-destructive things to regain your joy?
1. Stop making excuses: If you are really serious about reclaiming your legacy then you have to realize that you’re entering the realm where you know good and well that NO EXCUSES ever fly! Why do we come up with excuses? Because they deceive us into thinking they are easier than actually achieving our goals. But excuses are just a waste of time, and we know it.
What draws us into a negative path? Rather than growing and working on improving ourselves, we get stuck, lying to ourselves. We use all kind of excuses. And 99.9% of those excuses are not even real.
2. Stop the blame game: When you blame others for what you don’t have or for what happens to you, you actually give your power away. Life should never be only about what happens to you. How are you going to handle the situations in your life? Only you can make the choice to take right actions.
3. Stop your resistance to change: Change is good. Change will help you make improvements in your life. Working with change you can also help lives of those around you. Embrace change – don’t resist it. There is a great book:Who Moved my Cheese by Spencer Johnson – read it!
4. Stop complaining: You are the only person responsible for your attitude and your reactions to things! So stop complaining about people – You can’t change them. Stop complaining about events – they happen to everyone. Situations can only make you sad, angry and bitter when YOU allow them to. No one wants to be around someone who constantly complains.
5. Stop trying to impress others: Stop trying so hard to be something or somebody that you’re not… especially if you’re doing it just to make others like you. It doesn’t work anyway. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly. Not all people… of course. Just the people who you really want to connect with anyway.
6. Stop being a control freak: Yeah, sure… I know this is hard, but when you are willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you, miracles seem to happen. Situations, events, and people – Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – all these things are out of your control. Admit it. Just allow them to be. Your stress level decreases tremendously.
7. Stop the criticism: For some of us who tend to be perfectionists this is hard… but there’s wisdom in the old saying: “If you don’t have anything nice to say about someone, don’t say anything at all.” Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. Everybody wants to be happy. We all want to love and be loved… and we all want to be understood. So why not practice the habit of highly effective people that Stephen Covey talks about in his book: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
8: Stop Judging: Stop judging people, things and events just because you don’t understand them. Just because something seems “weird” or different does not mean it is bad or wrong. If you need to help your kids understand good judgment in a discussion that’s fine, but you don’t need to get into a personal ‘issue’ over what you disagree about. Let God judge them. Let go of it and let God handle it.
9: Stop with the need to always be right: There are too many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right. We do this even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be happy?”
10. Stop trying to live your life up to other people’s expectations: Way too many of us are living a life that is not true to our own personal calling and purpose. When we try to live our life according to what others think is best for us, we develop all sorts of inner tension and frustration. Some people spend their whole life trying to live according to what their parents think is best for them. What a shame to allow what your friends, or even your enemies think is best for you to control your decisions! For way too many men and women, the popular media has projected a false reality that they try to live out.
Don’t ignore the inner voice of conscience and the inspiration of your Creator to guide you. Remember “Desire” and “inspire.” Remember your inner calling. We are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that we lose control over our lives and forget what makes us happy, what we really want, what we really need. We all have just one life to live. Own it. Don’t let other people’s opinions mislead you.
I can honestly share with you, since I have made a conscious effort to stop all of the behaviors above, I have never been happier. And when I see myself slip – I acknowledge that behavior and work on adjusting my thought process.
Remember we cannot change, fix and improve on what we have not yet acknowledged.
So if you need it (and who doesn’t?), find an accountability partner who has your permission to call you out when you slip. This way you can reflect on what made you say or act in a certain way. The more aware you are of your actions, the easier and faster you can improve them.
Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.